A while back, I felt lost and left alone. My friends were all leaving and going places with their lives, turning the pages of their book and going into new chapters. New adventures, new friends, new environment and all were continents away. While I am still studying in school, eventho I had a lot of friends in school but I still felt alone…all I could ever think of is I’m here, still here, studying for my finals that I’ve dreaded,while my close friends were away,far away. I was very down, stress from studies were mounting up, I had no one to turn to, life itself was stressful, I was so sick of feeling depressed and I was just not me at all.
After months of blocking out the outside world and made my life only revolve around my studies. My finals are over and here I am at the crossroad of a new chapter in my life… Never thought I said this but I am reluctant to turn the pages. I want to turn back the pages, turn back to when I was studying all day long with my friends, turn back to the time when we still had to wake up at 6am and put on our uniforms to school, the time where we took every free periods of lesson to talk, to play random game…. I am afraid of loosing all these memories and loosing all the friends that I made through the 1 and a half year of sixth form…
I thought that when my exams ended I would be ecstatic, but I guess not, it’s the opposite. Maybe a part of me is afraid of going into uni and grow older..maybe just maybe…. But right now, all I want to do is to thank the Lord for taking my close friends away from me and put in new friends into my life.(close friends are still my close friends but now I have more friends! :)) I thank the Lord for comforting me in times of my sadness and loneliness, I thank the Lord for helping me and guiding me in times of stressfulness. I thank Him for not forsaking me eventho there are times when I’ve done Him wrong. He is still here for me,and all I need to do is to be still and know that He is God.
I may be afraid of what lies ahead but I won’t stop going forward for I know I have the Lord on my side, and that is all the reassurance that I need. For the Lord did say “……. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matthew 28:20
Thanks for still being here. xxx